I go and put together this software for making family cookbooks, and next thing you know my nephew Willie is saying, “Grandma, you need a blog on MySpace.”

I tell him I’ve got all my space I need, but he won’t leave me alone. So I hit him with a large turnip. Crack! Right in the melon. Wiped that know-it-all look right off.

But you know he’s a smart little firecracker, even if he had to wear a diaper until he was 8. He’s some hotshot marketing executive now, and if he says I need one of these blogs to help me sell my cookbook software, well, then I guess I’ll give it a try.

So here I am. I (and a team of scurilous ne’er-do-wells that I’ve kept in line with a sharp stare and good aim) put together Matilda’s Fantastic Cookbook Software, and this is the blog I’ll use to give you handy hints on how to use it.

While I’m at it, I’ll throw in some tips on how to print out your cookbook at Kinko’s without letting those eggheads get all snooty on you. (Hint: bring them a tray of macademia cookies.)

I might also spread some gossip about my nephew, reply to any comments you have, and just generally waste too much time here when I could be cooking. Please feel free to comment on our software, or better yet buy it. Whatever you do, keep it polite.

I’ve got a turnip and I know how to use it.